When I was young, nothing could get under my skin faster than if my mother said, “Well, your intentions were good.” I knew it was her way of trying to make me feel better about something I did that didn’t quite pan out; but, it hit a nerve.
Over time I realized why it bothered me so much. Intentions amount to zip if you don’t back them up with the right actions. A New Year’s resolution is just an intention, and for many people, they have no plan to help them follow through.
In working with people on goal planning, I frequently see the struggles people have over good intentions. So, today I’m sharing my top four reasons why New Year’s resolutions fail and some tips on how you can make them stick:
Reason #1: Your resolution is too vague. This is often what I call the silver bullet resolution. “If I xyz, then my life will be perfect.” How would it be better? (By the way, “Just ‘cause,” isn’t the answer I’m looking for here.) Do you see how there’s absolutely no constructive detail? You need substance.
Reason #2: You use phrases that leave you passive and on the sidelines. The words you use are a powerful. Compare these examples:
- “I want to spend more time with my family “ vs
- “ I will spend more time with my family in the following ways or by doing xyz” in the next xyz time period.”
Which phrase is focused on letting things happen to you? Which phrase gets you moving to make things happen?
Reason #3: You focus on eliminating a negative rather than creating a positive. An example would be a statement like “get rid of debt” versus “ create a positive net worth of $x by xyz date.” Which one would give you more focus and motivation?
Reason #4: You already expect to fail. Why not? Folks around you say resolutions don’t work. Each year, the media rehashes the same stories of resolution doom. I especially enjoy hearing people say, “ I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.” Well, good for them; but please don’t take the wind out of my sails. The next time you hear a negative take on resolutions, think about how you are letting the attitudes of others influence you.
Give it a try now…write down three SPECIFIC resolutions you want to achieve. Attach a date to each one and then layout three key action steps or activities you need to accomplish to move towards that resolution. Go do it now!
